Post-baby Pointers

I was asked a few weeks ago to talk about how my relationship has changed with my husband since having a baby. Little Man is one of the oldest children in the ward (yes, married students). I gave my little spiel at a Relief Society activity brunch. It was difficult for me to know what to say... its hard to pin-point exactly what has changed, how it has changed, and make it coherent enough that someone else can understand. I worked it over in my head and it came out a little differently on paper. But I thought it turned out rather well, considering...

I do not claim to know much about this whole motherhood thing. And I certainly do not claim that we have it all together (because we don't). But I decided that I wanted to be real, and honest in how I have felt, and what has happened in our experience. It isn't the same for everyone. In fact, it is actually different for everyone in their specific and wonderfully special circumstances. I thought that I would share my pointers with anyone who cares to read it.

1.       Have patience through the tough days. It may look bleak, but it doesn’t actually last as long as we think it will.

2.       Communicate, communicate, communicate. It is the key to keeping you and your spouse happy and on the same page. When you both know what is going on, it is easier to work together.

3.       Each experience is different. Embrace the joys, endure the challenges, and enjoy each and every day, because (cliche or not) they fly by and you will wonder how your baby grew so fast and where they all went.

4.       Be deliberate in your romance. Put dating back on the top of your priorities. Even if you don’t have a baby, if your relationship isn’t the first on your priorities, change it.

5.       It is important to get dressed every day. It seems like a silly thing, but it is so much easier to not care, throw on some sweats and go about the day. But I always feel much better about myself if I have put a little time and care into how I look that day. I am more confident, productive, and happy because I look and feel good.

6.       “Mommy guilt” is a very real thing. Remember that it is alright to take care of yourself. After you make sure your baby will be safe, it is alright to take the time to take a shower and get ready, even if he (or she) is crying. Take a break from your husband and child and go do something that you love. Your relationship with your spouse will be better for it, I promise.

7.       Finally, remember that you are not alone in this life. Heavenly Father loves you as his precious daughter. You are beautiful to him and to your husband. You are surrounded by a wonderful network of women who want to be there to support, encourage, and uplift you. Hold to that rod and put your faith in Christ and you will not fail.

And I really believe it. 

Things I've Learned Since Brayden Arrived

First and foremost: my nephew got to go home today!!!! So happy! Congrats to them all!

I was asked a few days ago if I could talk for 5-10 minutes at our Relief Society thing about how my relationship with my husband has changed since we had Brayden (he is the oldest child in the ward). I've been thinking about what I can say... I keep coming back to two things. Communication and how much the baby has been a blessing to our relationship. Sure there have been changes and challenges, but we have had to be more deliberate when it comes to our relationship which has, in turn, has brought our priorities back into focus. I'll keep you posted on what I actually say... :)

Life has changed a lot in the last year. It hasn't all been easy, but I wanted to record some of my experiences and this seems like a good time...

How having a baby has changed my life:

1. I see the world through new eyes. Brayden experiences new things every day and it is all exciting and fantastic to him. Life is much happier when you rejoice in the many things you can learn every day. Each day brings a new adventure, embrace it, enjoy it, and bring it on!!!

2. Showing emotion is not weakness. Brayden is not afraid to show you that he is happy, excited, tired, angry (we love that particular face...), or upset. Things would be so much easier if we just opened up and let people know what we really feel about things. No guessing involved.

3. I know more than I thought I did. Before Brayden arrived I wasn't sure I was smart enough to be a mother. How do I know what he needs to eat? What about getting him to sleep? What happens when he gets sick? Just a few of many questions I had (and still have sometimes). As it turns out, that "mother's intuition" is quite the phenomenon and I am a believer. My confidence in that I know what is good for my child increases daily.

4. Time is precious. Babies grow fast and time flies! Enjoy each and every day, even the frustrating ones. Also, nap time is precious. Its a chance to do what you need and do what you want. Balance it so you can enjoy some time to yourself.

5. "Mommy Guilt" is real. For me it started during pregnancy. I felt guilty that I couldn't cook or do dishes and laundry without throwing up. My husband had to pick up the slack and I felt guilty that I couldn't do my "duties" as a wife. Needing help caused me all sorts of guilt. After all, I'm supposed to be able to take care of my house, husband, baby, and myself or I'm a failure right? Wrong. So I have learned (and am still learning) the art of not feeling guilty and accepting help when I need it.

There are so many more things that I have learned from Brayden. This post is getting long enough. More to come. :) Thanks for listening!

October update

Yep, another month has come and gone and I have one post to claim... I thought I'd update  ya'll and give you another little peek into our humble lives.

Life is busy but we are enjoying our time with our little guy and together.  We tried our hand at canning... Grandma and Grandpa Grass had us over to teach us the ropes and let us use their canner. 11 bottles... pretty tasty. Not too shabby for our first time! :)


We are loving our family history calling in our ward and are learning all sorts of things about the resources available to us. We are teaching a 6 week course during Sunday school where we have a few couples in the ward come into the family history center and we all work on family histories. I've found that an easy way to get into it all is just to go look through the FamilySearch site. But I took a look at the site for the youth that Elder Bednar talked about in General Conference. It is a great resource! Its not as overwhelming as I thought! We are also preparing to take a field trip to the family history library in Salt Lake with some ward members to participate in their youth scavenger hunt. It sounds like a lot of educational fun! I'm just a little bit excited! :)

October has been busy for us. I spent much of the month preparing for our Halloween Bash and our first annual Witch's tea party. I enjoy planning parties, so it has been a lot of fun. This is the big party of the year for me as we have not been established long enough to get into the other holidays. ;) I have also spent some time working on some Halloween decorations to set the mood around the living room. (for more detail, I wrote a post here, here, and here.) The rest of the time I get to play with Brayden who is growing so quickly I can hardly believe it!

Brayden turned 8 months yesterday. He knows how to crawl (though his stomach is is preferred transportation) and he is determined to stand on anything that is sturdy (and sometimes not) to hold his weight. He wants to walk really bad, but is still too wobbly to make it very far. He is a happy little boy and even teething hasn't been too terrible. ( I know, I am so blessed!) He has a third tooth next to his other bottom two that came in last week. He likes real food too. He will usually give me a little face for the first bite of a new food but then he seems to like whatever I choose to give him. Other than that, he'll eat anything he finds... including Max's cat food... twice... but to his defence they do look like his snacks...  He's adventurous and excited to find something he's not supposed to have.

Bryce is working hard studying for his final interview with the executives at his job. He comes home everyday and tells me something new he is learning about the health care industry. There is a LOT to know about the health care industry! He is scheduled to do his interview on the 17th of November. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers! He's going to need some divine assistance, but I know he is capable of passing this thing! Go get 'em sweetheart! :)

Someday I'll figure out how to post a few little videos of Brayden. But for now you just get some more pictures. ;) Thanks for reading! Love you all!

Abby makes a great babysitter. If only she lived closer... so cute! 

Thanks to John and Dana for the awesome saucer. He loves it! 

Yep, cute. :)

This was our first trip out to see the pretty leaves.

XOXO

What a wonderful life!

General Conference is one of my very favorite things. I love the very idea that God is speaking directly to me, my family, and everyone in the world. He communicates what he would like us to know about our situation here on earth through his prophet. There is nothing but love in my heart for these men who dedicate their lives to serving the church membership and citizens world wide in God's name. They declare a bold, un-apologetic, testimony of Christ, His atonement, and His Gospel. They do so with authority, fierce loyalty, and nothing but unconditional love for all men. And twice a year we are able to sit at their feet and feel that spirit of love, concern, and redirection we can all use once in a while.

I enjoyed the whole thing... there were so many messages and topics I know I could do much better on in my life. My home teachers gave us the challenge to prepare for conference by praying for certain answers. I have had a few questions and feelings that I wondered about and I did so. I wrote down what I would like answers to, and put Heavenly Father to the test.

My mom invited me to go with her and a couple other sisters from her ward to the conference center for the Relief Society broadcast. I was there, thinking about those questions I had and then the meeting started. President Uchtdorf spoke to me... or so it seemed. There was so much for me to learn in that talk that I was mesmerized by the profoundness. Not to mention the love he had in his tone, and the analogy of the little, seemingly insignificant flower. Even as he was talking I knew I wanted something for me to put in my house to always remind me of the feelings I felt when he spoke to me. I though I would share it with anyone who would be interested too.

If you click on the picture, it should give you an image you can save and print. 

Among my other favorite talks were Elder Bednar's talk on Family History (Bryce and I are the ward Family History consultants and have just recently caught the Spirit of Elijah fever...), the talk on "Looking up", and the talk to the fathers about raising a daughter. President Monson's stories in his final talk regarding the speaker at the temple were inspiring. I really felt a theme through the conference could be Service to each other & your prayers, no matter how small, will be answered. And I testify that I know the things that were said were straight from heaven.

Here is my other little inspiring image for ya'll to enjoy. Click them, print them, enjoy...





Brayden is now officially 7 months old. He scoots around on his belly with his left big toe to get anywhere he wants to. He's actually forming a little callus on his foot where he pushes himself. He's pretty speedy. His new favorite activity is to hold onto my hands and pull himself onto his knees and then to his feet. He looks so triumphant when he succeeds. Smiling with his two new front (bottom) teeth.

Bryce came home for lunch a week or so ago and on his way back to work he was hit from behind in a school zone.  Bryce was hit, pushed into the car in front of him, then the next car, then the next... Everyone was fine, and our car was the one hit worst... Bryce is fine. Our car on the other hand.... lets just say the worst place to be in a mulit-car accident is in the middle... It was totaled. Bryce called me and said, "So... I was hit... but... we can get a car you can drive!" HA! So, as weird as it sounds, this is great news for us. We have been doing our first car shopping and are proud of our result. It is an automatic (*wink*) Hyundai Accent 2006. It's a pretty sky blue color and fits our little family well. It drives well, is safe, and gets awesome gas mileage. We call it the roadrunner because its horn sounds like the Warner Brothers' cartoon... :) *meep*

Bryce is studying hard for his final interview... the test in his company to see if he can remember enough about health care to keep working at KLAS... he's pretty stressed, but I know he will do well. He works so hard and is always coming home to tell me the latest thing he learned. It all goes over my head, but I try to keep up with all the jargon and lingo...

I spend my time with my darling little boy. We play, clean, watch Studio 5 and the news... and plan parties, projects, and crafts that I want to do. (P.S. The Halloween season is upon us and I am soooo very excited!!!)

We are redefining our plans for my future (school-wise) and they are still in progress... but I will probably enroll in a few independent study courses sometime in the near future to complete my core credits. That way, when I can apply for the General Studies program, I will only have to focus on the emphasis courses. We shall see what life hold for us until then!

Can you believe that Bryce and I have our 2nd anniversary this next Monday?! It seems like forever ago... and yet, it hasn't been that long. Wow. Bryce is taking me to the circus! I am pretty excited as I have never been to a circus before...

That about sums up our 2 years right there...

Well, that's about it for now! I love you all!

What have we been up to?

There is a pattern of long drawn out periods of time between my posts. The fact of life is that it never seems to slow down. In fact, I want time to slow down even more now that Brayden is almost 4 months old and growing every day. He can roll over on to his stomach now with ease. He even plays on his stomach for a few minutes every now and then (before he gets grumpy or throws up...). He smiles and giggles and genuinely loves me. So I don't mind having to turn him back onto his back every couple of minutes. :)

So what have we been up to the past couple of months? Well, we keep busy running errands and the general upkeep but we have been working on a few projects. We planted a garden that is doing rather well as of right now. The slugs and snails that plagued us last year had to face the wrath of the slug-go this year. We have a healthy looking row of green beans and sugar snap peas. We are also trying our hand at a couple of tomato plants and planted a little herb garden with two types of chives, cilantro and rosemary. (we have now used chives and cilantro in dinners!) The raspberry bush that we planted last year is giving a good go after being buzzed down in the spring and our little strawberry plant is growing quickly and we have 3 little strawberries starting to form! :) It is quite fulfilling to have our plant survive so far. I get a thrill when I realize that I can go out and harvest some fresh chives for our potatoes or the cilantro for the enchiladas. Our garden will continue to grow as we learn a little more about this whole green-thumb business.

We took Brayden to his first movie in the theaters the other day. Cars 2 just seemed to be the ticket. He was very good through the whole thing (he only got hungry once). For the first while he just sat on my lap and watched the screen... it was kinda cute. I really liked the movie and we have already put it on our list of movies that we will own someday.

I'm working on some crafting projects and dabbling here and there with some ideas. I have stumbled across the new site Pinterest and have fallen in love. I admit I'm a tad addicted... But I have come across some great ideas that I am going to spend my summer working on. :)

I have also been experimenting in the kitchen. We have tried a few recipes that have been truly amazing! Its been fun to incorporate some variety into our diets. That being said, here's my plug for you to go over to What's Cooking? to check out what we've been up to in the kitchen.

Can you believe that July is already upon us?! I can't... Will post soon. *cross fingers*

Almost 3 Months!

Oh my! May has flown by and June has quickly crept in... I thought I'd just give a quick sneak-peek into the lives of us here... so that you know we are still alive. Brayden hasn't won over us just yet. :)

Bryce has now been hired on full-time at the company he's been working at. We now have benefit options, which will take a huge load of stress off our shoulders. We are still working hard to not totally ruin our first child (I know, its inevitable... but we're novice enough to think that we've got a shot...). I originally thought that this summer would be so great! I have an excuse to be home most of the time and I will get the chance to write on my blog more frequently... Brayden doesn't seem to believe in blogging. Every time I try to get something written he seems to need me desperately with stage 3 screams... amazing... I still want to know how he knows...

 Brayden is growing so fast. He smiles and coos all day and is figuring out how to work those little fingers of his. (I had to get my hair cut so he'd stop yanking it all the time) I get so excited when he can pick up a toy or hold my finger... This little guy is the most incredible little miracle. I can't seem to get over it. He is starting to grow out of his first size of clothes now. I have mixed feelings about this. I am excited to see what he looks like in his cute clothes in the next size... but I already feel that he is growing up too fast and he's only 3 months old! (again, I know... novice mom.)

I'll hopefully write again soon with more details on what we've been up to. But until then, hope all is well! Oh, and here's another picture. :)

One Week Old Already?!

Never before has one week felt like such a lifetime... I cannot believe that it has already been a whole week... That I've been a mom for a whole week... Life changed so dramatically last Saturday, yet it feels so right and like we've been a family forever... (that could also be the lack of sleep...)

We had lots of family visit us in the hospital and we wanted to thank you all for coming to share our special time with us. It got kinda boring there in the hospital for the most part. We have also had all sorts of help from Grandma LeBaron this week and meals brought to us from people in our ward. We are so grateful for the love and support and help and company that we have been blessed with. We can't thank you enough.

Brayden has smitten everyone he has met and his mom and dad can't get enough of him. Even on the night we had major stomach issues and a discovery of how well his lungs work... but who couldn't just love this face? I shall let his pictures speak for him... :)

Daddy gets to feed too!

Out like a light...

Takin' a nap with Uncle Ben

Great-grandma LeBaron

Grandpa LeBaron insists that they have connected

Great-grandma Barker is fairly smitten as well

First Bath... was quite a success!

Asleep in the swing... how we love that swing... and that baby!

Happy Birthday Baby-bird!

Friday March 4th, began as a I resigned to the fact that this baby is never going to come. Big Bird got up to get ready for work and I figured I was up anyway, I may as well be a good wife (for once) and make breakfast. The pancakes were delicious and a pretty good way to start off the day. I felt better at least.

Mom came to pick me up to attend a cooking class before my check-up with the doctor... I was really hoping I wouldn't have to go back to the doctor again this week, but... the week has come and gone and I am still as fat and stretched as ever. Mom was determined to get answers from the doctor, and to make sure he did what he could to get this baby to come. :)

I enjoyed the class and we made it on time to the doctor's office. Bryce was able to come to the appointment as well so he got to be the one to ask the questions as we met the final doctor at the office. He was nice and friendly... and as it turns out, my favorite of the doctors... why you ask? :)

My appointment was at 11:20. We asked him what to do about my stretched-to-the-point-of-bleeding skin and he said cream works to keep the itching down... (not too helpful)... I was dilated to 3 cm and he stripped some of the membrane for me. (this is why he is my favorite doctor).

Mom and I spent the afternoon crafting some holiday decorations and discussing future projects we want to undertake. Big Bird came home early (3:00) and we decided to watch White Collar before we left for our house to spend another evening wishing I wasn't at home. :) It was about this time that my stomach cramps became a little more painful. I watched White Collar and the clock for the first half hour and decided that the pain was coming at fairly regular intervals... my mom and my darling hubby told me we had to finish the episode before we could decide whether it was time to go to the hospital to check. I did. Ironic eh? I have spent the last month waiting and praying for this kid to come and when he finally decides its time, it is inconvenient for me. ;)

4:30 we are in the car on the way to the hospital. The freeway is at a complete stop so we decide to take the long way around to the hospital. Big Bird was playing the 7th book of Harry Potter to keep his nerves calm and I focused very hard on what was happening in the book... and breathing through the pain...

5:00 we are at the hospital, it is hard to walk into the room where they evaluate me, but after getting my information I am dilated to 5cm and my contractions are coming at 2 minute intervals... The nurse asks, "wanna stay and have a baby?" I go into minor shock...

I am moved into my labor and delivery room by about 6:00 as the nurses prepare my IV. Seriously, this was the worst part. The first one botched the IV so the second time she had to put it higher in my arm and she still had a hard time finding the vein (which rolled when she tried to put the needle in). They have to run a full bag of IV fluid through my system before anesthesia could come in and start the epidural... so I let them put it through rapidly...

The epidural was a scary part for me, but the pain of the contractions reminded me that it was the only way for me to go. I kept telling myself that it would all be better after, that it would all be worth it... and it was. I was numb before my parents arrived and we chatted for a while and found a movie (Patch Adams) to watch. My best friend arrived a little later as I invited her (who wants to be a labor and delivery nurse) to be there with me.

The doctor came in to break my water and discovered miconium in the fluid. He explained to me that it was fairly normal, but it meant we would have someone from respiratory here to make sure he didn't breath it into his system. They would clean him up and then hand him to me. I was glad we were at the hospital.

They had me practice push at 11:00. It was harder than I thought it would be... its hard to bend around your watermelon far enough to make a difference. We began actually pushing shortly after... about 3 hours later I was still pushing. The nurse came in with a strategy to help me that included a game of tug-o-war with my husband every time I needed to push... (which explains why my shoulders and arm muscles are sore today)

As he finally crowned the doctor discovered the cord around his neck that was too tight for him to pull over his head (it was fairly big) so he had to cut it and deliver quickly. It also meant that the entire respiratory team rushed in to try to get him to start breathing... it was a tense few minutes for me and my hubby, but the doctor was calm and he started screaming and my nerves calmed slightly.

March 5th: 2:43 am 9lbs 2oz 20 in long. My baby boy was born. I got to hold him at about 3:15 for the first time. Words cannot describe how precious that moment was for me (despite the fact I was still being stitched up...). I realized that I was officially a mommy and that this precious little boy was depending on my to take care of him and love him, and raise him to be successful. I could feel the warmth of his brand new spirit and the calm and peace washed over me as the epidural began to wear off.

We got to fall asleep around 5:00 am which was easier said than done for me... every muscle in my body seemed to be confused about what their function was. The doctor warned me that I would be very sore and swollen since he was so big and despite the episiotomy I tore anyway. I am definitely feeling it now... but Brayden is so very much worth it! I had no idea how much I could love someone... I just want to shout it to the world and show him off to everybody! (Thank goodness for blogs eh?!)

By they way... he is SUPER cute. All of the nurses can't get over how big and cute he is. his little shirt is a belly shirt and he has rolli-polli thighs. Possibly the cutest baby EVER... yep... he is.

Happy Birthday my little baby boy! Welcome to the world!

Thanks to Ali for the pictures!

Eviction Notice

Today is supposed to be the day... this little guy is far from acting like he wants to come out anytime soon... I must just offer an environment far too cozy... Turns out, eviction notices can only be made for people who have been born... *sigh* I guess this mom-to-be will have to practice a little more patience... he'd better be cute...

Yes, the smile here is... slightly forced...

The Art of Smuggling Watermelons

The whole process of smuggling the perfect watermelon is an art. One that will take time, practice, and a few tries in order to achieve. Each watermelon is different, with its own challenges and successes. While I am, by no means, a professional (more of a novice really...) I have learned a few tricks along the way... this knowledge could change life as we know it! (at least it has a great impact on mine...)

No one told me about the smells... it seems that watermelons heighten your nose sensitivity by about a thousand. This new sensitivity can trigger a quick visit to (my new friend) the toilet almost faster than brushing my teeth... I have also learned that there is a certain grace to puking and certain warning signs you should never ignore. These new skills have come in handy on certain car rides where I did not have a bag with me (I know, a rookie mistake.)

Always, always, always have a water bottle with you at all times... you just never know...

Now, the watermelon will become more pronounced as is grows into the 4th month or so. This is the time to embrace it... and do those things that you will not be able to come month 8... (like tie your own shoes... shave your legs... those sort of things...) Continue to enjoy pants with a waistband for a little longer... and shirts that are not the size of small tents...

Eventually your appetite will come back to you and you can start eating real food (not just cold cereal and Campbell's soup) again. Don't get too excited however, anything with any amount of flavor will be problematic as indigestion and heartburn will have you tasting your dinner 3 or 4 times... so if it is strong the first time... hope you enjoyed it!

With the new weight (and rearranging of your insides) I have come to know the importance of a close bathroom, soft seating, and a pillow (or in my case, my fluffy coat wads up quite nicely). My first week of the semester was spent figuring out what buildings are best for those hour breaks between classes... and what drinking fountains and vending machines offer the best results. I am fairly expert now... And no, not all bathrooms are created equal...

As bad as it sounds there are good things to this smuggling business. Some highlights for me:

The look on my husbands face when I said "Congratulations Daddy" for the first time.

Watching my mom's face transform from utter confusion to excited tears as she realized the album I gave her said "Grandkids" on it. Then watching her proudly show her mother that she was going to be a grandma too.

Peanut Butter has become a food staple... with everything...

Feeling the strange stomach spasms and then finally realizing that it was my baby I could feel... I love feeling him wiggle around... (despite the bruised ribs...)

Seeing the little person for the first time at my doctor's office... then again to measure his growth and figure out the gender.

Big Bird's attempt to hide a smile when the doctor told us we were looking at a little boy.

The excuse of the extra passenger gives me to eat what I crave... when I want... and I can eat as much as I want without having to feel guilty! I am supposed to gain weight... :)

I learned how to make myself a maternity shirt (and it is amazing if I do say so myself.).

I have been able to watch my husband. He takes such good care of me. He rubs my back when it aches, he lifts things that are too heavy or in awkward places for me to reach, he doesn't laugh at me when I make funny faces as my ribs are kicked... He is incredibly sweet and patient and I can see what an amazing father my children will have. I thank God every day for him and I do hope he knows how much I truly do love him. (I know mushy... but hey, I'm pregnant!)

There has been an incredible, overwhelmingly awesome spirit in our home among our little family. We look forward to becoming parents for the first time and the anticipation and questions that come with it are scarier than reason. We have felt such an incredible support from our families, our friends, and mostly from the Lord. We have learned a lot about the unknown and how much faith it requires. We practice our faith every day as we take it one day closer to "D-day."

Can you believe that we have just over a month left of this incredible journey? I have grown so much in the past 8 months... literally (Honestly, we have passed the uncomfortable stage and are now just trying to to burst or rupture everything.) and spiritually as I have undertaken the biggest step in my life thus far. I have learned to rely on the Lord in my insecurities, because lets face it, I'm not perfect (yes, I said it, you can sit back on your chair now). I have so much to be thankful for and pray that I can remember that as I finish the last leg of this journey...

Wish us luck!

The Bump

Mostly there are bumps in the road... sometimes we call these things road blocks, snags, detours... right now, life seems to be going rather smoothly, except for one large bump...

and its starting be become a blockade for a multitude of things I used to do very easily... Like tying my own shoes, picking up stuff off the floor, curling up in a ball to read a good book... all these things I can still do, for the most part, but are getting steadily difficult as the little guy inside me continues to grow. There are some perks though, I now look like I am pregnant which reminds me and my dear husband why I am achy and slightly miserable sometimes... and though its unpleasant sometimes our little guy will be worth it. (Mom keeps telling me...) When he gets a burst of energy I can feel it and what an amazing feeling to have a little person dancing around in your stomach... The body is an amazing thing and these little ones are such an incredible miracle. (although he would be so much cuter if he didn't kick until the early morning...)

We are at 25 weeks and 3 days today. Said the doctor as we met with him again. The next time I'll see the doctor will be in my 3rd trimester! Can you believe that? I can't... until this little guy kicks me again... then I can't wait! :)

Just thought I'd share a short update... more to come soon!