Monday, May 30, 2011

Almost 3 Months!

Oh my! May has flown by and June has quickly crept in... I thought I'd just give a quick sneak-peek into the lives of us here... so that you know we are still alive. Brayden hasn't won over us just yet. :)

Bryce has now been hired on full-time at the company he's been working at. We now have benefit options, which will take a huge load of stress off our shoulders. We are still working hard to not totally ruin our first child (I know, its inevitable... but we're novice enough to think that we've got a shot...). I originally thought that this summer would be so great! I have an excuse to be home most of the time and I will get the chance to write on my blog more frequently... Brayden doesn't seem to believe in blogging. Every time I try to get something written he seems to need me desperately with stage 3 screams... amazing... I still want to know how he knows...

 Brayden is growing so fast. He smiles and coos all day and is figuring out how to work those little fingers of his. (I had to get my hair cut so he'd stop yanking it all the time) I get so excited when he can pick up a toy or hold my finger... This little guy is the most incredible little miracle. I can't seem to get over it. He is starting to grow out of his first size of clothes now. I have mixed feelings about this. I am excited to see what he looks like in his cute clothes in the next size... but I already feel that he is growing up too fast and he's only 3 months old! (again, I know... novice mom.)

I'll hopefully write again soon with more details on what we've been up to. But until then, hope all is well! Oh, and here's another picture. :)

Saturday, May 7, 2011

A Tribute to the Mothers in My Life

In light of recent (obvious) events in my own life my attention has been unavoidably drawn to just how amazing motherhood is... and how wonderfully incredible the women around me are. Their influence has helped to shape the person I am today and I thought it was a perfect day for me to share some thoughts and feelings I have regarding a few of the mothers I have in my life.

Mom and I at Cats 2010
Who better to begin a tribute to than my own dear mother. Words cannot describe the incredible person I know her to be. She is incredibly smart and gifted. She is organized, clever, and is not afraid to take charge in order to get things done. She is gentle and tender during quiet, private moments not too many see. I know she loves my brother and I with all her being to the point that she would do anything to help us succeed. That love for us has hurt at times when we have been less than wise with our decisions but it amplifies in our triumphs. I see it every time I get to spend time with her. I love to spend the day with her shopping, chatting, crafting. It becomes an adventure and our project list usually becomes a little longer with each visit...  But we enjoy ourselves and have fun exploring the many possibilities. I love sharing the love of creating something new with her. She has taught me a love for cooking. She has a fearlessness when it comes to trying out a new recipe, and then worries that it might not be perfect (which, it usually is). I love her so much and I couldn't have asked for a better mother and friend.

Mom holding a little lamb
My mother in law has been an incredible support to me this past... 2 years. She has given me some great advice but she respects my decisions and supports me and my husband as we progress through our life. She is a very inspiring woman with a lot of experience and stories to share. I feel so honored and privileged to be a part of her family and to receive her unconditional love on a daily basis. She is talented in so many areas, but I appreciate her ability to see the good in everyone and to share those qualities in a very sincere compliment. It means a lot to me that she would take the time to comment on the little things I feel go unnoticed sometimes.

Me and Grandma: my Jr. Prom
My Grandma B. is an incredible woman. I believe she is an angel sent to us to remind us to slow down and enjoy life. She is always so happy, sweet, and kind to everyone. I love to listen to her stories and experiences that she has had throughout her life. Her story is fascinating and I love hearing about how she and my grandpa met and got together. You have to watch her when playing games with her, or she always wins. I learned to eat broccoli and meat loaf eating at her house. I love spending time with my grandma and always feel that I am a better person afterwards. I love you grandma!

Linda and Me: my graduation day.
My aunt Linda has always been there to take me under her wing. My parents left me in her care as a little girl when they went to D.C. She did my hair in pig-tails, let me play the piano with her, and I have some fond memories exploring her walk-in closet. :) I visited her classes every so often and helped her in her classroom. (whether I was actually a help or not... you'll have to ask her.) I was certain I would serve a mission to Mexico like she did and I wanted to learn Spanish to be like her. She undertook the recent baby shower and has been almost as excited about my family as her own grand children. She has taken our family under her wing. When I had my surgery she checked in on me regularly. She is so strong and selfless. I am so grateful for the inspiration and example she has provided for me throughout my life.

What a beauty! I LOVE this pic! 
The strength my Grandma S. has never seems to have an end. I have so many fond memories being with my grandma on the ranch. I loved to help her "feed the chickens" (which included: chickens, horses, cats, dogs, birds...). I was always amazed how brave she was when there was a chicken sitting on an egg. She could reach in under a chicken and get it without getting pecked. I will never forget the time she rounded up the escaped horses with the golf cart. She read books to me, and let me help her take care of new kittens. (I was pro at catching them... the trick is plenty of patience and a quick grip 'round the tail as they try to split... I was  four.) She has a strength and attitude that is contagious as she faces life without giving up.

I have been influenced by so many wonderful women. Thank you to you all. I am a better person because of your example. Happy Mother's Day to everyone! Love you!

Monday, May 2, 2011

A little Smile

I admit, I have been one who falls easily into the traps set for women in society today. Somehow, no matter what I do I can't ever be good enough for the industry, the ideal... Its not real and I know it, but I believe if you were to be honest some of those "I don't look like that..." thoughts have gone through just about everyones' mind.

I also admit, the recovery after giving birth to my little guy has been a longer road than expected (not including the gallbladder surgery I underwent 4 weeks after delivering him). My body is scarred, I have a pouch of skin that did not go back into place like I told it to, and exercise come as close to a near death experience as it could get (turns out, 9 months+ of not being able to do much means you should ease yourself into activity again...). This leads to a third confession. I am not as patient as I should be. With summer just around the corner and the weather promising to warm up soon (I think...) we have begun our spring cleaning and the seasonal clothing shifts have begun. However, last year around this time I was not pregnant yet... thus this time I have had to come to grips with the fact that I do not fit into many of my pre-preggo clothing yet... It doesn't help that there are times when all I feel like is a body to feed and rock to sleep (repeated 6 or 7 times a day).

Call it what you may, I have found myself in a little bit of a dissatisfied slump (despite the reassurances from a loving husband that I still look fabulous). Between what the industry tells me, and my own expectations it didn't matter that my poor body has gone through some tough times recently, I was stuck in disappointment.

Then one morning, a couple of weeks ago I went into the nursery to address the early morning feeding issue. Groggy, disgruntled, and half asleep I stumbled through the door and to my adorable little boy's crib. While saying his name I leaned over the rail to pick him up. In an instant he saw me, stopped crying, and gave me the purest, most-pleased-to-see-me smile I have ever seen. It made me pause and soak in that precious moment. Here was a little boy who has nothing but the purest love for me and he is not afraid to let me know it (especially when I've come to feed him.) It doesn't matter what my hair looks like or what clothes I wear (well as long as I'm still able to feed him...) to him I am perfect. To him I am the most beautiful, wonderful, special person in his life. He loves me for qualities that aren't so visual, and those are the qualities the industry tends to ignore.Yet those qualities are the most important and I am happy that I have a precious little soul who can teach me through his little smile that I have them.

I call it my morning smile and it is my favorite moment in my day. It makes everything else worth it. It makes everything a little easier to deal with. Its so special I don't have a picture to share, but I have one close. His smile melts hearts all over and now it can melt yours! :)