Grandma Alice

I have spent a year trying to write this very post. I have visited and written and re-written it so many times I have lost count. But it is important to post my feelings about my dear grandmother.

It is difficult to fully appreciate the significance and influence one person may have on another until they have passed from this life, leaving a void. I want to tell you about an incredible woman left an unexplained void in my life only a year ago.

Isn't she positively beautiful?!

My connection to her starts on my birthday. That's right, the day I was born. I have always been proud of the fact that I share my special day with my Grandmother. It is the reason that I have the privilege to share her name as well. My parents gave me her name as my middle name. When I was young, I felt that made me very special... and it does. Her legacy is one that I hope to live up to.

There are so many fond memories that run through my mind when I think about visiting her. She lived on a ranch. As a child you could not ask for a more magical place to visit. There were cats to hunt (since they were feral, it was a literal hunt for the kittens if I wanted to hold one, which I always did), ATVs to ride, and mountains to explore. Every night after dinner we would wash the dishes in the sink, then take the scraps out to "feed the chickens." That usually meant that I got to toss the feed everywhere and Grandma would collect the eggs (because those chickens were mean!). Then I would accompany her to the horse barn where I would climb on the hay bales and watch her lift those heavy loads of feed into their bins. I thought she must be the strongest woman in the world... and I still believe it.

There were always hummingbirds flitting from the feeders on the back porch, and adventures to be had everywhere you looked. It is a heaven on earth and that ranch has a special place in my heart. But what made that place so special was Grandma. So many times we would arrive there late at night, she would wait up for us, the heater would be on in the front room, and we would find her there waiting to welcome us home. Some times, despite the hour, we would stay up and chat or play a game of cards.

She was so gifted and talented in her ability to create beautiful things. She took up toll painting and painted beautiful things on plates that lined her living room. She also painted the grand kids special Christmas ornaments for years. They are still the ornaments that go on my tree today. They are beautiful and I know that she thought of me as she made them. I looked forward to those ornaments every year.

One of my favorite memories of my grandmother happened on a weekend that the horses got out through the gate. They made their way to the ponds, where we could see them from the porch. At that time, Grandma used an old golf cart to get around the ranch... When we saw the horses finding the greener grass on the other side, she got up and went out the door. All of the sudden, around the corner of the house we see Grandma on her golf cart. She drove around them and herded those two horses back through the fence with amazing speed and agility. I don't know if John Wayne could have done a better job, and it made it better that she was driving a golf cart.


She is an inspiration to me. She did not live an easy life. Hers was a journey of heartache and loneliness. Yet I didn't get the sense that she lived with self-pity nor did she seem to need (or want) help from everyone. She didn't wish for things to be better. She made things work for her, or she did without.

I never met my grandpa, he passed away long before I came around. I loved to have her tell me the story of how she met him. She always smiled a sly smile when she told me how she went to a dance with a another guy and left with "Bob." I like to think that their reunion was a sweet one, though she probably gave him a stern talking to about leaving her there for so long...

It was difficult for me to watch her body deteriorate over time. The difficult life she led left her body in pretty bad repair... She spent a long time in the nursing home in town. I remember when she was moved there because it was physically impossible to live on the ranch alone. I remember feeling like the woman in that room was not my grandmother. I hated to see such a free, independent spirit stuck in a bare hospital room... Her mind was sharp as a tack until the day she died. Her body just wouldn't comply... She had to adjust. And she did. That fiery lady I knew and loved came back. She eventually recovered enough to take trips to the town park and we would have to run to keep up with her motorized wheelchair. That time was full of all sorts of new kinds of memories.

Family was so very important to her. She loved each of her children so much I could see it in her face when she talked about them. Every inch of her wall was covered with of pictures of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She loved to point to each one and tell us about this baby or that event. And I will never forget the glow of joy on her face when she was able to go to the St. George temple to have her son sealed to her. I am so glad I got to be there for such a tender moment for her.

Brayden's first time to Kanab. We got a 4 generation picture there at the city park!

St. George Temple. Grandma was so happy, it made me cry. 

I learned from her that your story can be simple and less glamorous than the rest of the world consider great, but it is all about your family. She was a rock, a solid foundation for her family. A haven for those traveling (at least she was for me). She exemplifies strength, courage, wisdom, patience, unconditional love, all with a sense of humor wrapped up in one. She is my hero.

My ability to write does not do this amazing woman justice. I admire her and hope to live up to the legacy she left for me. I am grateful for the opportunity I had to know such an incredible woman, and I know the world is a better place because of the 91 1/2 years she spent in it.

I love her and I miss her so much. But I am so very grateful for the knowledge of eternal families. I am glad to know that I get to see her, meet my grandpa, and be with them again. And so I wish her all the blessings of heaven. Until we meet again dear Grandma Alice. Say hello to everyone for me!

xoxo
Jessica

Little Star Babies

Does the moon love her little star babies?

It is difficult to describe one's thoughts and feelings on days like today. It has been a difficult couple of months to watch as my decently healthy-albeit-almost-90-year-old grandmother seemed to fade after a stroke left her without the full function of her mortal body... It has been the craziest of roller coaster rides as she improved with a lot of promise before slipping away again. There were times near the end that we could catch glimpses of that spectacular lady there. A wry little smile, a twinkle in those eyes, the abhorrence of the blue fingernail polish a nurse so kindly painted on her fingernails...

This morning she answered the final call home. Peaceful was the way it was described to me. And she was a lady who wouldn't have it any other way. I don't recall her voice ever getting very loud... there was always a sweet smile on that beautiful face.

Why is it so difficult to put into words how much you can love and adore someone so special? She was kind to everyone, patient, selfless, humble, with a sense of humor that kept you on your toes. She loved everyone and you always knew that she would remember your special days, that she was proud of your accomplishments, and the love from her would always be unconditional. She is one of the best examples of a Christ-like person I have ever met.

I always loved to go to Grandma's house. Her freezer was always stalked with ice cream sandwiches, dove bars, or Popsicles and there were always crackers in the cookie jar. She would let me play with her special figurines and her little cast iron stove. Grandma made me meatloaf, and taught me that lemon juice is the best way to eat broccoli. I loved her pearl necklaces and the fun toys she kept for the grand-kids in the bottom drawer of the dresser. She would sing to me as I fell asleep. I remember those lullabies and feel warm and safe when I hear them again. "Does the moon mama love her start babies..." She read to me from her old story books and had a record player that you could read along with and turn the pages with each "ding."

I was so excited to share my life with her because I knew she genuinely cared. When I was asked to the Jr. Prom, I asked my date if it would be okay to go see her before the dance. I was so proud to share that moment with my grandma and I feel that she appreciated it a little bit too. I know she has attended hundreds of programs and talks, missionary farewells & homecomings, baptisms, birthday parties, weddings, and the like. Her grandchildren were special to her (and her great-grandchildren too!) and we all know it.

She was an incredible example of selfless service to me. I didn't fully appreciate just how much she did for my grandpa before he passed almost fourteen years ago... but in recent years I have learned just how much she cared for and loved my grandpa. What a special lady. I cannot help but smile to think of her long awaited reunion with the man of her dreams. It brings a lot of comfort to know all is right with her now. I do wish I took the time to spend more time with her, but cherish the time I did get. Not one of my memories of her is unpleasant. This post really doesn't do her justice...

How grateful I am for the testimony I have of the truths of eternal families. Families are sealed together for eternity and through the Savior, Jesus Christ we can re-unite with our loved ones who have passed through the veil before us. I know I will see my beautiful grandmother again. This brings me great peace in the midst of lonely tears. I look forward to that day.

I love you Grandma. Thank you for all you have taught me, and continue to teach me through your incredible legacy. I miss you. Say hello to Grandpa for me. Until we meet again.

xoxo

Jessica

90 Years for Grandma S.

This is a special year for my family. Both of my Grandmothers are turning 90 years old this year. My Grandma S. actually turned 90 on my birthday (special, right?!) this year. She is an incredible woman. The extended family got together for a reunion-type party at the old family ranch to celebrate this monumental milestone for her. It was fun to see the cousins that I have not seen in at least 5 years. My husband was also able to meet most of them for the first time. Thanks to my aunt and uncle who hosted and organized the event!

I also got to see my brother (who is away for the summer working) again. I miss seeing him as regularly as I am used to. He seems to be doing well and having a great experience waiting at a "resort" near Zion's National Park.

There's something about Kanab that seems to make the stress of life and reality disappear for the weekend visit. The small town pace is slower and nice to experience every once in a while. My brother also treated my husband and I to Disney Pixar's Brave. (yes, opening weekend for $5 per ticket) We enjoyed the movie, but almost as exciting was the wall of family pictures in the theater's lobby.

The local theater is built where my great-grandma's house used to be. In fact, they used the bricks from the old house on the outside of the theater, and the window frames from the house are throughout the theater. The one wall has pictures of my great-grandma and great-grandpa and their children (yes, my 90-year-old grandma as a little girl). We also found a book with their personal histories in it. So naturally, we asked the managers (and hope to get a hold of the owner) to possibly get a copy of the text to compare with the ones that we have already.

Awe, the giant bear at Denny's Wigwam

New teeth = fun to eat corn on the cob

The well water was COLD, but these boys didn't seem to mind...

Our first "happy meal"

It was an exhausting weekend.

Happy Birthday to you, Grandma!

The Golden Family Tree

One day my father took me into the forest behind our house. We walked for what seemed like forever. During the walk I saw so many beautiful trees. There were flower trees, fruit trees, bronze, and silver trees... As we came to the center of the forest we stopped at a breathtaking golden tree. It sparkled in the sunlight and I couldn't believe something so beautiful existed. My father explained to me that this was our family tree. Each leaf on this tree represented a member of my family. It was now my job to take care of the tree and protect it from anyone who might want to hurt our tree. It was important that I not show anyone where our tree was, should anything happen to it, bad things could happen.

Who should show up the next day but the... lumberjack... that's right! The LUMBERJACK!!! For some reason he was determined to find and cut down my family tree. (Rude, I know.) He threatened me and I found myself in the forest trying to trick him into cutting down any other tree... but he figured out what tree was mine. I was frantic. He told me that he would give me three days to decide who to save... My father explained to me that if I picked a leaf to replant those people could be saved, but the ones to die on the tree would disappear and it would be as though they did not even exist. I could only choose 4 leaves. What a terrible responsibility for a 16 year old girl!

Who would you choose? Who in your family deserves to be saved? Lucky for me, I woke up and my family was all safe... but what if? The reality of my life is that I have  been instructed to take care of my family "tree". By finding and doing the work for my ancestors I can cultivate my golden tree and save those in my family from the terrible fate of the lumberjack.

We are happy to share our experiences with you as we learn about our family and how to find the information that can be useful for your own family trees. We hope you join us on our journey!

Jessica & Bryce