It is difficult to describe one's thoughts and feelings on days like today. It has been a difficult couple of months to watch as my decently healthy-albeit-almost-90-year-old grandmother seemed to fade after a stroke left her without the full function of her mortal body... It has been the craziest of roller coaster rides as she improved with a lot of promise before slipping away again. There were times near the end that we could catch glimpses of that spectacular lady there. A wry little smile, a twinkle in those eyes, the abhorrence of the blue fingernail polish a nurse so kindly painted on her fingernails...
This morning she answered the final call home. Peaceful was the way it was described to me. And she was a lady who wouldn't have it any other way. I don't recall her voice ever getting very loud... there was always a sweet smile on that beautiful face.
Why is it so difficult to put into words how much you can love and adore someone so special? She was kind to everyone, patient, selfless, humble, with a sense of humor that kept you on your toes. She loved everyone and you always knew that she would remember your special days, that she was proud of your accomplishments, and the love from her would always be unconditional. She is one of the best examples of a Christ-like person I have ever met.
I always loved to go to Grandma's house. Her freezer was always stalked with ice cream sandwiches, dove bars, or Popsicles and there were always crackers in the cookie jar. She would let me play with her special figurines and her little cast iron stove. Grandma made me meatloaf, and taught me that lemon juice is the best way to eat broccoli. I loved her pearl necklaces and the fun toys she kept for the grand-kids in the bottom drawer of the dresser. She would sing to me as I fell asleep. I remember those lullabies and feel warm and safe when I hear them again. "Does the moon mama love her start babies..." She read to me from her old story books and had a record player that you could read along with and turn the pages with each "ding."
I was so excited to share my life with her because I knew she genuinely cared. When I was asked to the Jr. Prom, I asked my date if it would be okay to go see her before the dance. I was so proud to share that moment with my grandma and I feel that she appreciated it a little bit too. I know she has attended hundreds of programs and talks, missionary farewells & homecomings, baptisms, birthday parties, weddings, and the like. Her grandchildren were special to her (and her great-grandchildren too!) and we all know it.
She was an incredible example of selfless service to me. I didn't fully appreciate just how much she did for my grandpa before he passed almost fourteen years ago... but in recent years I have learned just how much she cared for and loved my grandpa. What a special lady. I cannot help but smile to think of her long awaited reunion with the man of her dreams. It brings a lot of comfort to know all is right with her now. I do wish I took the time to spend more time with her, but cherish the time I did get. Not one of my memories of her is unpleasant. This post really doesn't do her justice...
How grateful I am for the testimony I have of the truths of eternal families. Families are sealed together for eternity and through the Savior, Jesus Christ we can re-unite with our loved ones who have passed through the veil before us. I know I will see my beautiful grandmother again. This brings me great peace in the midst of lonely tears. I look forward to that day.
I love you Grandma. Thank you for all you have taught me, and continue to teach me through your incredible legacy. I miss you. Say hello to Grandpa for me. Until we meet again.
xoxo
Jessica
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